Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
