My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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