you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
