Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
