I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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