So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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