Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
