I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
