is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
