tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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