Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
