found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize