Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
