I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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