Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
