This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
