Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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