im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize