hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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