take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
