turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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