There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
