apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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