You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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