literally had 100 drinks last night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize