I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
