I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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