Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
