Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize