Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize