I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
