Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
