You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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