the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
