I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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