I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize