Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
