I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
