so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
