that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
