i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
