think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
