Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
