Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
