no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
