lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize