I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
