I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
