Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Terrible idea I love it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
