i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
