whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
