Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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