wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
