used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
