Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
