Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
