Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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